#i notice that on days when i'm approaching a deadline i will drink so much tea that i actually get mild withdrawal symptoms once i stop
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juliamccartney · 1 year ago
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i know it's technically self-medicating and that's not ideal but like. caffeine genuinely helps a lot
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chanswifey · 3 years ago
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"Is it true?"
Prompts #22, #26, and #27 | friends to lovers
Bang Chan x gn!reader
author's note: 2 prompts in 2 days??? I can't recognize myself anymore lmao 🤣 , anyways, I had fun with this one and I hope you guys like it, especially the one who requested 🥰 also quick warning ⚠ there are brief mentions of alcohol.
chanswifey©
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"Are you really blind enough not to see the sparkles in his eyes when he's staring at you?"
The words hit you like a wave, and suddenly you could not breathe, you felt yourself float like you were underwater. You looked at him, laughing and having fun with his friends, his hand on the girl's lower back. Your eyes met his for a second, and he smiled at you, but you were too immersed in your feelings to be able to return the gesture.
"Why did he never say anything?" You asked your friend.
"I don't know, maybe he feared you would reject him and end up ruining things with you. You are clearly very important to him if he thinks it's better to move on than lose you". The girl sitting by your side answered. "I don't think he would ever have said anything if he wasn't drunk"
You met Chan about four years ago, you worked at a coffee shop part-time and he was a regular customer there. Whenever he would come around he would wait for you to take his order and would chat with you, sometimes he would sit at one of the tables and work there until it was almost time to close but you didnt get to truly know him until one night while hanging out with friends, one of them introduced him to the rest of the group.
The two of you then got much closer, he was the first to text you every morning, and the last one you would talk to before bed but it never occurred to you it was because he was interested in you. You did have some feelings for him, but you never let it grow past friendship, especially since you heard he was going out with someone else, you also didn't want to come up between him as his job, you knew how busy he was since it was you that talked to him until the ungodly hours of the night almost every night to keep each other company when you had trouble sleeping and he happened to have a deadline to meet.
"I heard they are having problems" your friend's voice made you snap back into reality. "I don't think she realized how demanding the industry is"
"I guess..." Was all you managed to say.
"You should talk to him" your friend suggested before getting up and leaving you alone to talk to someone else.
It was your friends birthday and everyone had gathered at his house to have some drinks, the entire night you kept stealing glances at the boy, you started to notice how distant he was from the girl, and how unsatisfied she was with the whole situation, looking like she wanted to leave.
Some hours passed and you tried to have fun while trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, you had been doing a great job so far until you spotted him leaving the party following the girl, the pair didn't look like they were on good terms anymore, worried about him, you decided to follow them.
He had walked the girl outside and both of you watched as she entered the taxi, once the car left you approached him.
"Are you okay?" You asked, standing by his side.
"Yeah, I'm good, I guess..." He answered without looking at you " I guess it wasn't supposed to be... It may sound rude but... she wasn't the one I loved anyway"
He walked back as if to enter the house again, but he stopped at the steps and sat down, you decided to do the same and both of you stayed in silence for a moment. After a few seconds, you gathered enough courage to ask.
"Is it true?"
He looked a bit confused at first and you started to wonder if the confession was just something he said while drunk. He let out a smile.
"Your friend told you, I assume?" He kept gazing at the sky, his face a bit red from the alcohol.
"Is it?" You insisted.
"Sometimes I allow myself to imagine a future where we are together" he started, his eyes still looking up. "A future where I can hold your hand and bring you closer and when I'd smile at you, you'd call me 'love'... A future where I am more than a friend"
"Then why you never say anything?" You said sounding a bit angry.
"Would it have made a difference?" He asks, his eyes finally meeting yours.
You pondered for a second before leaning in for a kiss, "yes, it would" you whispered. On his face, a surprised look appears.
"Did you just..." He stutters. "Wait, you love me?"
You laugh at his response.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" He asks.
"I should have said something too."
This time, he is the one that leans in for the kiss.
prompt list | masterlist | request here | what I write
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wh6res · 4 years ago
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three's a crowd | nomin
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synopsis. picking favorites is impossible when you like neither of them.
warning. read at your own risk. abuse, bullying, poly relationship, yandere themes, manipulation, nonconsensual touching, noncon, degradation, smut threesome oop
disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think jaemin or jeno would act like this in real life.
note. this was meant to be a new year's gift lmao i obviously got a lil carried away 👀 anyway a late happy new year to you all! we survived 2020, let's start living in 2021, yeah? lmao if covid lets us grr mwah!
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the relationship you had with the two of them was a weird one, bordering on taboo, but it wasn't as if you willfully chose to be who they wanted you to be and it took jaemin's unwanted pining and jeno's intimidating demeanor for you to fall right into their arms.
it was a joint effort on their part, you couldn't've possibly stood a chance.
"this many?" the cashier asked. "are you sure?"
stepping back and studying the whole situation, you figured you only had your addiction to caffeine and procrastination to blame. it was a chain reaction you didn't even know will lead up to your inevitable doom.
if you hadn't been slacking off during your first semester of junior year college, you wouldn't be forced to overwork yourself trying to catch up to the looming deadlines, but to be able to 'work yourself to the bone' you need your boost of energy… and that was when you met one of them.
"uhm," you scratch the back of your head sheepishly as you eye the six glass bottles of iced coffee. sure, it looks bad and you kinda appreciate the look of concern the cashier throws your way but it was none of his business.
"yes. now could you, like, you know… hurry up? i'm in a little bit of a time crunch right now."
screw it. although you hardly snap like that with other people on a daily basis, it'll be a whole different conversation if you were under a significant amount of stress and today, unfortunately, is one of those days.
now can he just fucking stop asking questions and give you your six bottles of death drink to keep your fucking brain going so you can pass an eight-page essay tomorrow? thank you very much!
the guy snickered, the beeping sound of a barcode being read sounding a thousand times more annoying than it usually sounds as he keeps his hand busy by punching your items out.
you fail to notice how he studies you through the gaps of his lashes, finding you interesting rather than threatening as you stood before him with your messy hair and oversized hoodie.
"haven't seen you around university grounds 'till today," he tries striking another conversation with you. "you new? i'm jaemin."
this was your first mistake, you shouldn't have been so… downright rude when you met him. if you were granted the miracle of meeting him a 2nd time, you would've acted more nice, throwing yourself at his feet even to blend in with the rest of his fangirls you didn't even know about at the time. you would've done anything to make sure he never gives you a second glance, to never pique his interest.
jaemin is the pep squad captain. flying over colored blue mats and doing tumblings in the air with no ounce of fear. he was the best in his team, that much was evident when your friend dragged you into watching a pep rally practice. his landings were clean, balanced, and executed to the best he can at all times.
no wonder he was popular, his talent is outstanding and his looks are a bonus. his killer combo of a smile and wink after pulling off a tough flip is enough to send them squealing in their seats.
he spotted you that day and since then, he snuck the quickest glances at the bench during practices. recognizing you as the coffee girl he met during his convenience store shift. jaemin tries not to let his disappointment show too much when he doesn't see you, but of course, a pair of cold calculating eyes could see right through him.
"i saw that," his boyfriend said, hand darting forward to hold jaemin's gym bag for him. "you kept looking at the crowd. do you want to see her that much?"
"but she reminds me so much of you, jeno!" he retorts, pouting at the slight grumpy tone the other boy used. "i can't help it. she doesn't seem to give a fuck around me so she's quite interesting. maybe she can even be a great addition to our relationship!"
"well," jeno replies after a beat of silence, plastering a small smirk on his face before slinging an arm around jaemin's shoulder.
"convince me?"
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you don't like jaemin's attention. not in the slightest. and it seems that was enough reason for the reign of terror his little fanclub has subjected you too.
it wasn't the petty elementary forms of bullying like pulling at your hair or calling you names. they pale in comparison to the other things they do to you—beating you up, messing with your homework, "accidentally" dumping their food trays on you.
and you weren't stupid.
you knew exactly who was behind it, knew how jaemin spectates the whole thing from afar so that he can swoop in at the end to play your knight in shining armor.
"oh, you poor thing. do you need help?"
the first time you accepted his "help" you ended up in a supply closet near the gym during your free period, cornered and weak as your cries for help drowns under the squeaking of shoes and the booming sounds of rubber balls hitting the floor.
if it weren't for jeno appearing out of thin air and prying the boy off of you, you would've been painted blue and red from the death grip he had on your wrist, neck, and waist.
you can still remember feeling the soreness of your scalp from when he pulled your hair too hard. remembered feeling his teeth gnawing at your lips as if he wanted to tear them off.
that time hadn't been the first time you saw jeno. you've shared a few classes with him and it strikes you how polar opposites they are with one another.
while jaemin likes to bask in his professor and classmates' recognition by confidently reciting his answers, jeno would rather keep to himself. liked sitting at the last row, near the window, so he'd be the first to go once the professor ends their lecture. while jaemin loved the attention of his fangirls, jeno preferred solitude. while jaemin is impulsive and wild, jeno liked to think things through.
it was within these reasons that you decided to do what you did. but your judgement of character has never been more wrong.
you approached jeno one day in the library, tried to make yourself appear as stoic and confident as possible. but your constant slouching and averting eyes was a dead giveaway.
you came to talk to him about what jaemin has been doing, hoping there's one person left in this entire school that isn't under the cheer captain's trance. the one reasonable person that has already saved you once and (hopefully) is willing enough to save you again. the only one that probably has a certain level of control over jaemin, if the supply closet incident is anything to go by.
but you've overestimated lee jeno.
"you should've just given jaemin what he wanted."
"but—but aren't you two lovers? isn't it bothering you?"
you try baiting him, only for an uncomfortable shiver to start crawling down your spine when he chuckled humorlessly, pushing his school materials to the side while pinning you with an unreadable stare.
how can a person make someone feel so small just by a gaze alone? it was nothing like you've felt with jaemin. this is way worse.
"the only thing that's bothering me is why you're not ours yet."
you feel cold fingers creeping their way under your shirt, going higher and higher until it brushes against your bra. and when your eyes meet, the look on his face was unmistakable—what are you going to do about it, huh?
you stood up in lightning speed, the chair you've been sitting on scraping loudly against the floor.
you've never ran out as fast as you did.
and jeno swears it'll be the last.
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you tried everything in your power to ignore them for the next following weeks but it soon became useless when the two boys took it upon themselves to give you your space.
although judging by the pinpricks you feel on your back, and the constant weight of a stare you feel on your shoulders, you knew they weren't done with you yet. far from it. and for some reason, you just knew they wanted to lull you into a false sense of security first before striking again.
and while they continued to ogle at you from afar like a hawk circling its prey in a desert, you took it upon yourself to return the favor. not because you were the slightest bit interested in those creeps but maybe, just maybe, if you look hard enough you'll find a way out, a weakness.
but what you realized made your insides churn in great discomfort—although it may seem that jeno holds the reins in the relationship since his reserved nature fits the role, it's actually the other way around.
jaemin might appear too self-centered, too focused on himself to give a fuck about his surroundings but in actuality, he has quite a knack for reading people. even more so than jeno. and it was scary how he used it to his advantage, and paired up with his devoted fangirls? it was hell on earth.
you found it alarming how the two seem to magically appear wherever you are.
although you weren't in the least bit surprised. for some reason, you can't take your eyes away when jaemin's devotees flock around him (and jeno) in a circle.
it almost reminds you of a shoal of piranhas, waiting for their meal to drop into the water before ripping it to shreds with their teeth. only their "meal" isn't actual flesh but the carefully crafted words jaemin says that drive them into a sick frenzy.
one that has them doing everything in their power to satisfy him like the loyal dogs they are.
so this was how he got them to bully you?
"oh, that? don't worry! yangyang just ran into me during cheer rehearsal. no biggie. my cheek stung a little bit, though…" is what he said but really he's telling them "scruff him up a bit for me, why don't ya?"
"of course, i can't be the best all the time. haechan is just too good, maybe even better than me…" is what he said but really he's telling them "can you remind him where his place should be?"
all the while jeno did nothing to hold him back.
no matter how wrong jaemin is, how much of an asshole he is, jeno will stick by his side through and through. so as much as jaemin is a puppeteer that gets a kick for controlling people, jeno is as much at fault for looking the other way.
because in jeno's perspective, why the fuck would he do shit when he can just get off from the entertainment that comes with jaemin's sweet little mind games?
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we lost :(
you had been busy sorting through paperwork for one of your professors in the faculty when your friend texted you the results of the intercollegiate cheer dance competition. a frown paints your face, heart feeling heavy at the bad news.
in all honesty, you still supported the pep squad—you just hated the captain and his boyfriend. they've been practicing non-stop for this and prior to the weeks of the competition, jeno looked a lot more tense and jaemin less smiley than usual. you swore you even saw the latter snap at one of his fangirls.
not to mention, they paid less attention to you, too, and it was the best three weeks of your life.
tension starts rising in your shoulders, fingers absentmindedly running through the edge of the papers you had been sorting until you became immersed with your thoughts.
jaemin must be in the worst mood yet.
and jeno too, probably. if anything, that guy gets triggered the most when something bad happens to jaemin or when he catches snippets of people talking shit about his oh so "perfect" boyfriend.
jeno is a lot scarier when jaemin is in one of his mood swings, you noticed. he steps up in the relationship to offer comfort to the other boy and for outsiders? it isn't a great experience to go through—being on the receiving end of jeno's ice cold stare is a position you don't want to find yourself in after that time in the library.
he is still as much a threat to your peaceful life like his lover.
you snap out of it when the blinding headlights of a vehicle seep through the closed blinds. you hear the gentle hum of an engine switching off as the headlights vanished as quick as they had appeared. that must be the cheer squad's bus.
as you look around the empty faculty room, something in your gut tells you to ditch file sorting duty for professor kim tonight and fucking get the hell out of campus grounds as quick as you can.
after haphazardly throwing the unsorted papers back into the cabinet, you groan aloud when the keys to the office drop out of your skirt’s pocket.
the indoor gym where the cheering squad practices is right across the hallway. you sure as hell don't want to bump into jaemin. or jeno, too, if he had decided to ride along the cheer squad's bus on the way home.
you kept looking for the keys underneath the cubicles, cursing aloud when you heard the telltale squeaks of shoes rubbing against linoleum. you almost hit your head against a table when you quickly got back up your feet, darting forward to shut the lights for the faculty room.
they can't know you're here. alone. and if it meant sitting in the dark for a few hours 'till they leave, meant going back home a little later than usual is what you have to do then so be it.
you try not to react so violently when the door you're leaning on jolts when someone from outside slams their back against it.
"it's not like we didn't do our best, right guys? i don't have regrets. it might sound fucking cheesy and although i'm sad myself, atleast we did what we can."
it's jaemin. his voice clear as day.
you try peaking, craning your neck up from your place on the floor. only to see the back of his head leaning against the glass section of the door. someone else joins in on the conversation, followed by coach park himself, and you slowly tune out whatever they're saying as you stealthily start scanning the faculty room.
you curse under your breath. is there no other exit other than this door? jesus christ! even classrooms in this university had two doors—
"what are you doing here?"
the switch flickers on, basking the once dark room with light. only when you hear an echo of your name being called, did you snap out of it and quickly picked yourself up from the floor.
"i said, what are you doing here?"
their coach asks, drilling the question as he looks at you skeptically with his arms crossed. you try not to look at the people behind him.
particularly, not at his cheer captain standing on his right.
particularly, not at jeno, who stands out like a sore thumb with his blue hair, a protective arm snaked around jaemin’s shoulders.
this isn't your lucky day, too, you guess.
"i was…" you cursed yourself for stuttering. "i was, uhm, i was file sorting for prof—professor kim, sir."
coach park looked like he didn't believe you as he narrowed his eyes in scrutiny. your nerves are going haywire and you can feel the sharp pins of their stare with how close they are.
you kept juggling your weight with the balls of your feet, hands fisting and unfisting behind your back. you want to leave. you have to leave.
"file sorting… in the dark?" he asked incredulously.
fuck this.
"uhm, you can ask professor kim himself tomorrow, coach. for now, uh, i'll be going now. i'm sorry you guys lost…"
originally, the exit is on the right side, at the end of the hallway. but no, you are not going to pass by those two while on your way out so you ducked behind a random student standing on the coach's left instead and practically ran away from the scene.
everyone had been too busy. too busy looking at your retreating form to even notice jaemin and jeno exchanging glances, too busy to notice the latter untangling himself from their captain to slip away unnoticed, his hurried steps filled with a burning purpose.
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you didn't know why you ran, but you did. your shoes practically booming against the floor as you sped away through darkened hallways. you're sweating profusely, heart hammering in your chest. you can worry about professor kim tomorrow but right now you just had to—
"why are you in such a rush, pet?"
crashing into jeno felt like crashing into a wall. if it hadn't been for his arm quickly wrapping around your waist, then you would've landed on your butt before him.
with the small distance between the two of you, jeno could see as clear as day through your eyes.
jaemin was right.
it was addicting to stare into them.
especially when he can see every single one of your thoughts flying through your pretty little head. but hey, it wasn't their fault you were so easy to read.
jeno barely conceals the wicked smirk on his lips when your hands come up to his chest, trying to push him away but to no avail.
he can see your eyes shifting from shock, to confusion, until it finally settles on fear—to which it's slowly becoming a favorite emotion of his to see on your face.
"you know, jaemin is in a really shitty mood right now. and we were wondering, maybe you can cheer us up?"
no. this can't be happening.
"jeno, please." your dilated eyes and disheveled hair made his blood run south. "let me go. you don't want me. you don't need a third party in your relationship."
you yelp when he lets you go, literally shoving you against a wall—which you found out is actually a door, as it swings open as soon as your body crashes against it.
with jeno looming unforgivingly before you in his full height, the tears stung extra hard but you won't let them fall.
if he wanted to bask in the image of your weakness then it'll be something you'll deprive from him for as long as you can.
"i don't need a stupid bitch like you to tell me what i feel." he scoffs. "don't fucking kid yourself, you little whore—i don't want you. i'm not jaemin."
the echo of the classroom door shutting closed surged through you like a wake up call.
this is really happening.
you've always led a decent life, had done nothing too questionable and you've always thought maybe life will spare you if you lived quietly enough. but the feel of jeno's freezing hands crawling against your skin felt like life itself had spat at you in the eye and left you to rot in a ditch.
"i've always liked how you wore skirts," he comments. playing with the ruffled hem of the soft fabric as he purposely grazed his knuckles against your supple thighs. "gives me easy access, don't you agree?"
you scream when he flips your skirt up to reveal the innocent pink of your cotton panties. it was as if a switch had flipped inside of you and the will to fight started coursing through your veins.
"stop! jeno! i don't want this!"
his brows furrow, grunting as he struggles to push the waistline of your skirt up higher with how much you're thrashing underneath him. you buck your hips, tried curling in on yourself, anything to prolong what he wants to do to you.
with your legs trapped underneath his, you blindly reach forward, relying on your upper body instead to push and scratch whatever your palms and nails reached.
you continue screaming like a banshee until he shoved two fingers into your wet cavern.
"stop fighting me," he sounded strained, as if he's holding himself back. you feel him fisting the fabric of your skirt and you fear he's simply going to rip it apart.
you tried responding to him, only the sound had been muffled, gurgled by the flat of his fingers pushing down against your tongue mercilessly. when you reach forward to push him away, your hands land on the apple of his cheeks, nails digging through skin.
until it slips and—
you lie rigid when red scratch marks in the size of your fingernails slowly appear on jeno's skin, his head turned to the side as he paused. your actions slowly start sinking in to him as he shuts his eyes and bit his lip 'till it looked like it was about to bleed.
oh no.
"jeno—"
the slap he planted on your cheek left your ears ringing. all those hard earned muscles of his put to good use—if the tears hadn't fallen for the last few minutes, then it definitely started falling now.
the hit had been so strong, a few of your hair flew astray, the buzzing feeling of your skin tempting you to reach a hand up to soothe your abused cheek.
until jeno let out a low growl and your hand immediately drops limp against your body, afraid of whatever else he can do to you other than a slap.
"that's more like it," he whispers under his breath. you let out the tiniest of whimpers when his hand darts forward to fist your hair. "do you know what happens to bad girls? they fucking get busted up. do you understand me?"
his patience is nonexistent.
jeno slams your head against the floor when you don't answer because you thought his question had been rhetorical. it felt like your skull had been split in two as you wail in pain.
"are you fucking deaf—i asked you a fucking question!"
the hand that cups your jaw is painful as he squeezed your cheek with his blunt nails. your hand shoots up to wrap around his wrist, silently pleading for him to let up as you sobbed out loud. you started nodding as best as you can despite his firm grip on your face.
your reply was nothing short of pathetic. with lips forcefully pursed and the steady stream of your tears and snot rolling down your face, your response is gargled and hardly incoherent and jeno seemed to thoroughly enjoy your anguish if the condescending curl on his lips is anything to go by.
"look at you," he whispers, his face coming close to yours as he holds you down. there was something in the way jeno stared so intently that it made your skin crawl.
"i think you're prettiest when ruined like this."
with his nose touching yours, he felt too close, bordering on intimate as you felt his hand creep back up your thighs, trailing up with feather-like touches that made goosebumps appear on your skin.
you tried wiggling your legs underneath him but one sharp look from jeno is enough to make you stop.
the hand holding your face moves. coming down from gripping your face to encircling his hand around your neck.
"do you like it when i touch you? freaky bitch."
his hands trail further up, up, up until you felt him slotting a finger underneath your panties.
jeno didn't like how frozen you were underneath him as he pulls at the hem before letting go. the elastic snapping back against your skin.
the action evokes a strong feeling through the young male, promising to have you writhing and screaming and begging because by the end of all this, you'll be so needy and frustrated that you will have no choice but to give in to what your body wanted.
"jeno, didn't i tell you to play nice?"
someone stands by the door, the minimal light from the hallway creating a silhouette with his form but you knew who he was. that deep voice, with the same annoying flippant tone, is a dead giveaway.
you didn't know why you even hoped in the beginning. as if there'll be someone who can save you from these two.
you thought the flash of hurt in your eyes was quick to disappear but jeno noticed it quicker.
in a span of seconds, he pulled you up from your position from the ground and tugged you towards his lap. you haven't even gotten the time to settle on your new position when he already smashed his lips against yours.
it was messy. too much saliva. too much teeth. no tenderness to it at all.
the fabric of his jeans felt rough, not to mention the ice cold belt buckle made you severely uncomfortable as it seeps through the thin fabric of your skirt.
when you attempt to hover over his lap, jeno grunts as he snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you back down without your lips breaking away from each other. you didn't know why he let out a whine, but you understood the moment you fully sat down on his lap and you felt a tent on his jeans hitting your clothed entrance perfectly.
in a normal circumstance, you would've found everything hot and might've actually gotten off from it but not when it's him who’s doing this to you and you didn’t consent to any of this.
you start squirming again. palms lying flat against jeno's chest as you attempt to push him away and jaemin sees this as the opportune moment to slot himself behind you, caging you in between them.
“i want my turn,” he hisses and without an ounce of hesitation, jeno stops to do what he's told.
jaemin doesn't waste any second to grab your face, awkwardly craning your neck up to meet his lips in the same feverish kiss.
while jeno had been all teeth and aggression, practically forcing you to open your mouth and kiss him back, jaemin on the other hand is more soft, more romantic, you daresay. he seemed to like taking his sweet time by clutching your face, kissing you like he actually meant it.
he pulls away slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he murmurs something incoherent under his breath and then he's kissing you again.
you think you heard something along the lines of, "finally."
you've been too distracted by jaemin to notice jeno's nimble fingers quickly fumbling with the buttons of your blouse. it was only when you feel the sensation of his tongue laving against the swell of your breast did you turn away from jaemin, jerking backward in surprise.
"no—!"
your scream is cut off by a hand cupping your mouth. jaemin pulls your back towards his chest, molding your body against his as jeno licked and suckled all he wanted, thankful to have the other boy there to not worry about restraining you and keeping you quiet while he has his fun.
"ah, ah, ah," jaemin teases, going hard over the pleading and teary look you sent his way. it looked pathetic, he wasn't going to lie, but it doesn't mean he didn't love it. "just keep still and appreciate jeno's efforts to take care of you, alright baby?"
you don't like how he talked as if this was all a mutual thing, how he talked slowly like you were some toddler who didn't understand anything.
it's cruel how jaemin giggled and basked in your vulnerable state as he kept his eyes pinned on you while undoing the zipper of your skirt. your muffled cries of his name only serving to egg him on.
the way he stared was similar to jeno, too intently and intrusive, like he wants to burn your image of despair in the back of his head.
you whined involuntarily when jeno got bored of all the licking and thus decided to start biting and nipping at your chest instead. he was hypnotised by how responsive you were, how every little bite and nibble made you shudder.
it was a shame that jaemin had to cover your mouth. he didn't get to hear your pretty mewls but it wasn't as if he'd let the night end without hearing them loud and clear.
jaemin is fast in undressing you, feeling slightly betrayed by how quick your skirt and blouse fell under his hands.
you know what he wants, what he's going to do, and the tears fall harder when you can't dodge away from him. forced to endure and accept whatever they give you.
"you act like you don't like it but look how fucking wet you are," you bit your lip hard when jaemin starts circling the pads of his fingers against your clit, fascinated by how more juices streamed down your thighs.
"jeno, do you see this? fuck."
you can only blink in defeat, staring off to the side as you force down any noise bubbling up your throat, forcing yourself to think of anything else other than what's happening right now.
you try not to think about how they managed to tear all of your clothes off while they're left completely dressed. tried not to think about the fingers lazily drawing up and down your slit to collect your essence.
if they're doing this as a way to further humiliate you, it's working.
"slut," jeno mocked, a wicked curl on his lips when he wraps his fingers around your throat. the moment he dives down to claim your lips again is the same time jaemin pushes two fingers inside you.
"look at how wet you are because of me," jaemin whispers hot against your ear and you feel a sick churn in your stomach when you feel his smile against your skin.
he purposely drives his fingers in and out quicker, settjng a brutal pace, wanting you to hear the lewd squelching sounds. "hear that? do you hear that, darling? that's because of me—"
"don't go talking big now, jaem," jeno retorts, pulling away from your lips to start nibbling on the back of your ear. "i was here first. did you see how she fucking reacted when i sucked on her tits?"
you're quick to catch how jeno particularly loved degrading you. but how he talks about you as if you're literally not in front of him naked made you hit a new all-time low.
you felt… filthy.
his hands find purchase on your butt—only because jaemin has already claimed the front. for now.
you close your eyes tight when he painfully squeezes the flesh of your ass. you swear, his blunt nails will paint your skin black and blue.
"i'm the favorite!"
"i'm the favorite!"
as someone who's part of a varsity team, you already knew a competitive nature runs through jaemin's veins. but never had you thought jeno would share the same sentiment. once again they prove that they're cut from the same cloth.
all of a sudden it wasn't all about claiming you as theirs anymore rather it was all about who can make you moan the loudest, who can make you cum the most, who can make you feel the dirtiest you can be.
you're absolutely terrified for the hours to come.
thankfully, they have yet to ask for your verbal opinion or validation. they let your body do all the talking—every repressed shudder and sharp gasp is enough.
but it's game over once they pop the million dollar question.
"who do you like best?"
you don't want to find out the consequences if you actually answered their question because you didn't know what could be worse.
jaemin's manipulation or jeno's aggression?
but it was all normal. trial and error is inevitable in order to build and mold you into the ideal lover for the both of them.
because adding someone new to the mix has never been easy—after all, three's a crowd.
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andmaybegayer · 2 years ago
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My mother recently started drinking Monster Energy and she was talking to me about how while she doesn't really depend on it, she can feel her brain slow down and fog up when she doesn't have it now which is interesting because I'm in basically the same boat, I stopped taking Ritalin every day when I graduated and it's now a deadlines and studying only thing.
a) I was on a very low dose of Ritalin and if I ever feel like going back on it full time maybe I should just buy an Aeropress instead.
b) She had a hard time believing in the effectiveness of Ritalin when I started on it in high school, although she did notice lots of qualitative improvements in that I was much more attentive and conversational when on Ritalin. It's good to have some common ground to explain what having ADHD is like.
A lot of people with attention issues self-medicate with caffeine and nicotine, and it's effective, stimulants is largely the same. In effect, at least, the differences are mostly about side-effects.
Talking drugs with my mother is interesting because she knows that I have a very. functional. approach to medication so when I talk about the importance of opioids for therapeutic applications she takes me seriously which a lot of people don't do.
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twsted-simp-writer · 3 years ago
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Scenario: Visiting his s/o who turned out to be stressed out and mentally drained.
Tags: Modern AU, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Fluff,
A/N: Jade being OOC, kinda wrote this out of what I'm feeling rn tbh
Jade Leech in his civilian clothes, stood silently at the door frame of his s/o's room. It was early sunday morning he decided to visit his lover. He was greeted by the messy state of your room. Dirty laundry and sheets of paper littered on the floor, curtain was closed which made your room dark and blocked the sunlight from spilling inside. Taking off his outdoor shoes, he took his indoor slippers that has been sitting at the shoe rack. Silently picking up the clothes off the ground before tossing them inside the laundry bag hiding behind the door.
It has been a habit of his to clean your room ever since you two started dating. He has gotten used to his twin's chaotic side of space. Not to mention, his mess is worse than yours.
"(Y/N), are you still alive?" Jade leaned over your shoulder, poking your cheek as he await your response. Your eyelashes flutter open as your eyes slowly adjust to the view
"I'm dead." You mutter loud enough for him to hear, remaining motionless with your face buried into your books. "On the inside."
Your tall boyfriend merely chuckle at your suffering. How caring of him. But jokes aside, he is definitely worried how stressed you were for the past few days. With how busy both of you with your own lives for the past weeks, you both could mostly communicate via call or text.
His s/o pressured by the expectations of their parents to be able to graduate on time and to be find a stable job in the future, this boyfriend couldn't take seeing them cry secretly and pretend they are fine whenever they're with him.
"Since you're dead on the inside, why not have a tea that I made." Your boyfriend offered as he took out the canister from his shoulder bag and pour you some to drink. The fragrant aroma of chamomile tea fill the room.
Feeling lightheaded, you slowly lift your self up and let your head follow the scent of the tea. You quietly gave your thanks as you accept the cup from him. Blowing it slightly, you took a sip as you stare mindless at the wall.
"Please don't push yourself too much. If you are tired, take a break." He placed the canister atop of the nightstand before approaching your equally messy study desk.
"When will these be passed?" Jade mutter to himself as he survey your laptop and check each deadline date of your activities and assignments.
"Take a rest for now. I'll help you later once you get some sleep." Your boyfriend assisted you up from your chair to the bed, covering you with the comforter.
Sniffing, you asked him. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting with those two today? For the next product if I could recall."
Jade merely smiled as he sat beside you and smoothly said, "Azul can handle it all himself. He is already a grown adult. I highly doubt Floyd will assist him though."
Knowing his antics, you laughed not noticing he was admiring how the side of your eyes crinkle as you smile. "You're so mean."
Brushing back the strands of baby hair that covered your forehead with his fingers, he start to massage your head as he ran his fingers through your hair. "It has been awhile since we went out. I want to spend my time making you feel better today."
"Jade..."
"(Y/N), I know that you are tired mentally and physically. But whenever you feel blue, please don't hesitate to call me. I'd be willing to ditch Azul anytime just to go to you."
Your eyes pricked as your vision slowly get blurry with tears. Knowing he's there with you, you let these tears fall as you pour everything you have been bottling up inside.
"Jade, thank you for everything..." You mumble against his chest, your eyelids getting heavier by the second. Before you know it, you have fallen fast asleep.
His soft gaze lingering on your adorable sleepy face, he wiped the little drool that was already attempting to escape from your mouth. With a chuckle, he kissed your forehead before laying his head atop yours.
"I too, (Y/N)."
In the Monstro Lounge office, the two young man were sitting as they wait for someone. These were Azul and Floyd, in their shop's uniform wear. They arranged a meeting today for the next product launch which is why they are here. Yet that certain person unfortunately had a change of plans.
Glancing at the ticking clock hanging on the wall, the silver-haired young man decided to speak up.
"Floyd, where in the world is Jade?" Azul tapped his fingers against the table as he impatiently asked the other twin who's preoccupied in his phone.
"He's currently in his lover's apartment, hogging them all to himself." Floyd sluggishly answered as he scroll through his feed with a bored look.
"Huh?" Azul stared at the tall young man with a look of disbelief. Floyd lift his head from his phone.
"Eh? Jade didn't text you?"
"Are you kidding me..."
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yume-fanfare · 4 years ago
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translation - the whereabouts of the roast beef
this is a translation of one of the four short stories HoneyWorks posted at the beginning of the pandemic!  it’s written by Kosaka Mari, you can read it in japanese here. this was translated from this spanish translation by mieltrabajos.
Other stories:
Two people at the school festival
Who is the owner?
Aiming towards the heroine, Suzumi Hiyori!
The whereabouts of the roast beef
By the time Shibasaki Aizou finally finished his work it was already night, and he was longing to get home.
Since he debuted as an idol in the unit LIPxLIP he had had a very tight schedule and, as it was to be expected, it only got worse each day.
“That manager… She gives us way too much work…”
When he got home and turned on the lights, his cat, Kuro, ran under the table from the couch where he had been sitting. 
Aizou left the plastic bag he'd been carrying on the table.
“Even this feels like we're in school.”
His partner and him were partly responsible for that day's dance class delay.
He hadn't realized that so much time had passed while he argued about the choreography with Yuujirou. In fact, just remembering his partner's stubborn face, as he wouldn't listen to anyone but himself, made Aizou sick, furrowing his brow.
“I wish he'd listen to other people's opinions sometimes… Hey!”
Kuro leaned over and tried to shove his face inside the bag as Aizou raised his fist while speaking alone. When he noticed, Aizou picked up the cat and placed him on a chair.
“You stay here! This is not for you!”
But even with those words, the cat just licked himself with a mischievous shine in his eyes.
Aizou had no other option but to bring Kuro his food bowl and fill it. That way, the cat started eating next to him.
“Well… what should I do?”
Aizou put his hands on his hips and took the meat out of the plastic bag.
On the way back home I suddenly felt like “Meat… I want to eat meat…” so I went to a 24-hour supermarket and bought some.
He pulled out his cellphone and looked for a recipe online. Once he'd decided what he wanted to cook, he took off his uniform blazer and put on some apron that was lying on a chair.
Two hours later, Aizou had accidentally made roast beef.
“Yes! Perfect!” he cheered and did a victory pose.
“Wait. What am I doing.”
Suddenly recovering his sanity, he leaned over the kitchen table, putting his hands on it.
Why was he roasting beef instead of saving his precious hours of sleep?
Kuro, who was walking around him, sat down and looked up. Aizou looked up too and saw the clock. 2:30 AM.
He had finished, but the tiredness overtook his appetite. He yawned.
“Should I leave it for tomorrow's lunch?” he mumbled in a sigh and grabbed a bento box from a shelf. “Oh, before that.” He pulled out his phone out of the apron's pocket and took a picture of the roast beef.
He sent it to his partner. And, as soon as he did so, the reading receipts showed up. It seemed like he wasn't the only one awake.
He didn't get a reaction or text back, so Yuujirou was probably annoyed too.
Good. I can easily picture his face.
During the dance class he had thrown a ridiculous tantrum after being called “rhythm tone-deaf”.
Aizou packed his food inside a bento box with some rice as a side dish and closed the lid, satisfied. 
“Ok, I finished. Now, I'll take a bath and go to sleep.”
He put the lunch on the table and left the room hugging Kuro.
---
Shibasaki Ken walked down the stairs still half-asleep, carrying Kuro. He placed him on the floor and refilled his water and food bowls.
When he opened the fridge, he found it completely empty except for the cream bun he bought the day before and a plastic water bottle. When he pulled them out and put them on the table, he saw an unknown bento box.
“What's this…?”
He unpacked it and lifted the lid to find some tidily placed roast beef with rice. Ken looked at it, admired, and then started laughing.
“Ohh, this is here to be eaten, right~?”
Kuro walked towards him and Ken picked him up. The cat answered with a meow. Ken put him down again and wrapped the lunchbox.
“I’m so lucky!” he exclaimed.
He put it in his bag and thought about the cream buns, which he ended up leaving in the fridge again.
“Thanks for answering!” he told the cat and left the room in a good mood.
---
The next morning, Aizou woke up later than usual. He ran down the stairs as he put on his blazer.
“Oh, before anything else…!”
He went to the kitchen and pulled out a plastic water bottle. He poured some in a glass and drank from it, then moved to the table.
However, the bento box that should have been there had disappeared. No matter how many times he looked for it, it wasn’t anywhere to be found.
“Uh, why…?
Instead, the only thing left were the convenience store-brand cream-filled buns.
(There’s only one person who could have done this.)
Aizou grabbed one of the buns, angry.
When he left the living room towards the main door, he didn’t see the shoes that were always there, next to his. Even though he usually left at the very last minute, when the first period was about to start, it seemed like he’d left early today.
(He escaped!)
Aizou dashed towards the living room, grabbed the cream buns and put them in his bag, which he had thrown on the couch before.
He went back to the doorway and put on his shoes, waved Kuro goodbye, as he had come to see him off, and left the house as he yelled: “I’m leaving!”
“I won’t forgive you!”
He jumped on his bike and started pedaling vigorously.
He had worked hard on roasting the beef after coming back from work.
(In any case, I have to get it back!)
Aizou gained momentum, went down the hill and turned the corner at the next intersection.
---
When the morning classes ended, the girls approached Aizou at his desk.
“Hey, Ai-kun, why don't we have lunch together?”
Aizou got up, mashed cream bun in hand, and ran out of the class saying:
“I'm sorry, I have to leave, there's an emergency!”
Yuujirou, who was sitting at his desk drinking chocolate milk, eyed him. “Huh?”
(I wasn't able to get a hold of him this morning because he was flirting!)
As he ran down the hall, the girls screamed: “Oh, Aizou!”
He pushed them away and kept going down the stairs. Then, someone grabs his collar and pulls him aside.
“Hey, Shibasaki, no running in the halls.”
When Aizou turned around, he was met with his homeroom teacher, Akechi.
(While I'm here, my roast beef is being…!)
“Teacher, I'm on a rush!” he said hurriedly and teacher Akechi let go off his clothes.
However, it seemed like he wouldn't be able to leave yet.
“By the way, it seems like Someya and you are the only ones who haven't turned in the club orientation form?”
“Do we have to do this now?”
“You're quite behind the deadline, aren't you?”
Mr. Akechi put his hands in his lab coat's pockets and gave him a look of disapproval.
“Ooh, Aizou is being scolded by the teacher~” some of his female classmates giggled as they passed by.
(Why am I receiving a lecture right when I have to leave?)
Aizou made eye contact, although he was uncomfortable, and tried to make an entrance to escape.
“We don't really want to enroll in any clubs… I mean, we're already idols!”
“Don't run!”
Ignoring Mr Akechi's upset voice, he ran away again.
---
(Where are you….)
As he looked around the second year halls, he heard a girl call out to him.
“Hey!”
It was most likely because there weren't many students around.
“What's the matter, Aizou?”
“What are you looking for?”
(Ugh!)
He involuntarily tensed up and he backed down a couple of steps.
“No… It's just…”
It was hard to look for him with that group of students.
“I'm sorry, I think I made a mistake!” he blurted out and ran away from the scene.
“He's so cute!” the older girls giggled.
He blushed at those words as he ran down the stairs.
(There's so many obstacles in the second year classrooms!)
That way, he couldn't get near the classroom.
(Wait… I don't know which one he's in!)
The realization hit him as he reached the first floor, doubling over and putting his hands on his knees.
“Oh, but I only have to find wherever he eats lunch!” he accidentally said out loud, and a passing boy looked at him confused.
(Maybe at the courtyard?)
Aizou was running again before realizing.
“My roast beef~”
---
When lunchtime came, Ken invited Kotarou and Kodai to the rooftop, and as they sat against the railing, he took the bento box out of his bag.
“You're eating bento today, Shibaken? That's rare to see,” Kodai commented in disbelief while eating his own yakisoba bread.
Usually, Ken just bought some rice balls and bread at the convenience store.
“It was on the table when I woke up this morning.”
“Wow!” Kotarou side-eyed the bento box as he ate his rice balls. “Did you make it yourself?”
“I don't know who made it. Someone who occasionally shows up at home?” when answered with a smile, his friends were glad to see him happy.
“I'm kind of jealous…”
“It's okay, you can eat my leftovers,” he waved his hand and started downing the food.
(Um…)
“Can he cook…?” he asked no one in particular, but then smiled and answered himself I don't think so.
---
“Where could you be...?”
The girl standing next to the vending machine stared at Aizou as he yelled and ran down the halls. Her long hair swung from side to side.
“Shibasaki's little brother...?”
When she asked that Aizou's legs stopped to a halt.
(The girl who brought Kuro!)
Someone I met in my neighborhood once.
I don't know what kind of relationship they have nor I want to know, but she's at least an acquaintance of mine. And it seems she's in the same class as my older brother.
“What's the matter?”
“I'm… looking for someone.”
Holding eye contact with her wasn't easy. He was an idol, but he didn't get along well with women. Plus, if he was seen talking to one, who knows which future rumors might spread.
Usually, he'd just ignore her and keep going, but this was an emergency so he couldn't flee.
“Well, I don't know what it is but… it seems like it's difficult.” Maybe, Aizou thought, the senior girl was trying to sympathize with him.
He finally met her eyes and sighed.
“Maybe they're at the rooftop… Why don't you check there?”
“The rooftop…?”
Aizou lifted his head. The school's rooftop had flowerbeds and benches, and some students had lunch there when the weather was nice.
(There!)
“Thank you, senpai!” He grinned and turned around.
Holding the juice box she'd gotten from the vending machine, she stared at him with wide eyes, a bit surprised about the term he'd used.
---
After dashing up the stairs that led to the rooftop, Aizou flung the door open. The strong breeze moved his blazer.
“My roast beef!” he yelled, and the three people eating at the rooftop turned to look at him.
My brother Ken and his friends.
Then, he saw that the bento box Ken was holding was empty except for a bit of parsley.
“My…! My…!”
Aizou fell to his knees.
(I was too late!)
Kodai turned towards Ken.
“Looks like it was him after all.”
“Huh? Shibaken's got a little brother?” Kotarou looked at both of them while holding a rice ball.
“You didn't know him?” Ken threw an arm around Aizou's shoulders.
“Why don't you make your own lunch instead of stealing other's?” his voice shaking with rage, Aizou slowly got up. “It was my lunch!” He pointed at Ken angrily and left with a sigh.
Ken walked towards his brother, not troubled in the slightest.
“What?!”
With a cheerful tone, Ken handed his brother the empty bento box. 
“Delicious.”
He patted Aizou's head softly and walked inside the school building in a good mood.
(What the hell…!)
Holding the lunchbox with only parsley, Aizou teared his hopes into pieces.
At least, he felt like his brother's friends sympathized with him.
---
The next Saturday morning, Aizou did a decided pose.
“All right, let's do it again!” he said as he finally put roast beef inside his lunchbox again. “I could become an expert on this,” he murmured happily, putting the bento inside his backpack.
Since they didn't have class that day, his brother must still be asleep. Or at least there weren't any signs of him going downstairs.
(I won't let the same error happen again!)
Aizou laughed softly and declared: “This time, I'll eat roasted beef! Let's go!”
He petted Kuro's head, who was sitting in his chair, grabbed his backpack and ran towards the door.
That day he had to meet up for some recordings and magazine interviews. After that, he had lessons, so he'd be back home by midnight, as usual.
When he left his house, their manager's car was waiting for him outside, engine running.
---
When they finished their morning work and went back to the office, they took a small lunch break.
Aizou bought a can of coffee from the vending machine on the first floor and hummed as he got onto the elevator.
As he got to the office floor, a staff member congratulated him:
“Aizou-kun, good work!”
“Good work~!” he greeted back with a smile and then laughed and said to himself: “What am I doing?”
“Did this morning's recording go well?”
“Indeed!” he grinned and waved before leaving for the break room.
(The roast beef is waiting for me!)
When he opened the door, he saw that Yuujirou was already having lunch there.
“Good work!” he told him.
He got a tired “good work” in return.
Aizou grabbed a foldable chair and sat down next to him. He glanced at the bento Yuujirou was eating.
“...!!!!????”
He looked at it again.
It was the lunchbox that Aizou had brought.
And it was almost empty.
Yuujirou was making a grimace and his mouth moved with disgust.
However, on the table laid two convenience store rice balls. Probably it was the manager in training who bought them.
(I… had left it on the table!)
He had only left it alone for a second when he took it out of his bag and went to the vending machine to get coffee. Since he had gotten to the office, he'd been glad it wouldn't be like last time.
Aizou banged the table with his hands.
(Noooo!)
“I didn't need the bell peppers.” Yuujirou had pushed them to the side and looked at them with disgust.
“You didn't need any of it! So eat the peppers too!”
“They're bitter, so no.” Yuujirou frowned and turned around.
“Eat them! You already ate it, so at least eat all of it!”
“No way. Why did you put bell peppers in it!?”
“It wasn't for you. Don't be stingy when you're eating someone else's bento!”
Since he was losing the argument, Yuujirou stomped on the floor like a child.
“Roast beef shouldn't be so dry. You overcooked it!”
“Hah?!? What are you talking about. It was perfect!”
(Ugh, today, today's being absolutely the worst!)
“I'll let you know!”
“Haah?! Try me!!”
Right when a physical fight was about to break, the door swung open.
“Hey boys, good work~ … !!!!” Hiyori, their manager in training, dropped her plastic water bottle on the floor. “You’re fighting again!”
Aizou and Yuujirou pointed at each other and said at the same time:
“This guy is the worst!”
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sleepless-in-starbucks · 5 years ago
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Any way you could turn that popcorn comic into a story? -pineapple (no pressure I'm just curious)
Speedrun because I have school soon BUTNevermind have to go to school ajdfbvhdsbjsd y’all won’t see this for a whileAlright back now time to finish (...none of these notes will make sense to y’all since no timestamps on them but shhhhhh they’re in chrono order don’t worry)
Inspired by this
-Roman and Deceit go to that movie theater a LOT-They both love having movie dates (Roman thinks they can be both very romantic or very goofy; they have flexibility; Deceit likes the Sins He Can Commit In The Dark which are mostly just kissing Roman til he’s red as a tomato; they both like the show they get with it all)-But there’s only one movie theater that’s close to them, and that’s the one Virgil works as-Virgil is sarcastic all the time towards them, mostly because he and Deceit were ~rivals~ in high school and he knows he (nor his boyfriend) wouldn’t report him to his manager for just acting like he always has-And when he’s on shift (which he is a lot- he needs the money) he always makes sure to be the one helping them-Roman’s frustrated that all his cutesy couple moments are being Ruined by Virgil but he will NEVER stop saying cheesy stuff because he refuses to be beaten by an angsty popcorn butter-er-Deceit’s just amused by the whole thing, since his and Virgil’s rivalry always has been and likely always will be some petty little thing that doesn’t actually matter that much, so he’s never really insulted by any of it-(Which is good, because if he was, Roman has promised multiple times he’d threaten Virgil with his sword. Deceit doubted Virgil would care, but Roman might drop it and cut someone’s toe)-This whole thing goes on a while-As in roceit visits the movies at least once a week (they are ADDICTED to cinema) and at least once a week Virgil ‘helps’ them with a side of extra salt-They’ve come when Virgil’s not really been on his game, though
-Sometimes it’ll be late and it’s clear he hasn’t slept in too long as he mumbles his way through their transaction-Sometimes he’ll be too busy glaring at another employee to be witty, and they know he must have just gotten chewed out for a stupid reason-Sometimes he’ll just… look at them, with some odd look in his eyes, before he checks them out as quickly as possible and with as few words as possible-Roman and Deceit notice-They’re not sure, exactly, when they decided they needed to help protect the emo who always made fun of them, but they have and they will-They’ll make the employee who was a jerk to Virgil enjoy an absolutely horrible transaction-Or they’ll just awkwardly tell Virgil he’s doing good before they go to their movie-When he’s tired, they remind him to go home soon, to rest-More than a few times they’ve driven him home after their movie when it’s clear he shouldn’t be trusted behind a wheel-And for his off days, they just make sure to slip him a bigger tip, since they know he needs the money-They don’t have too many breaks in their ‘rivalry’ but they do have some, and those moments are their breaks-One day, they come to the movies like usual, noting that Virgil seems happier than usual. they don’t ask after this, but they’re both (not-so-) secretly happy to see him happy-After he’s helped them, though, he tells them the cause: he’s got a new job, and given two weeks notice. it’s better paying, more within his interests-Deceit and Roman accept the news outwardly excitedly, inner-wardly excited... and upset-They had gotten used to seeing Virgil at the movies, after all, and their back-and-forth had become very familiar. they were both loathe to lose it, but this was better for Virgil! and though they’d never say it to the soon-to-be-ex-movie theater employee’s face, they wanted him to have only the best-They did start going to the movies more in those two weeks, though, trying to enjoy the last of all of this-And by ‘more’ I mean they went to multiple movies every. single. day. because they did still have work, this meant a lot of real late and early movies, but they made it work-The only thing was this: if they walked in and saw Virgil wasn’t behind the counter? they’d leave and come for the next showing they wanted to see-They were coming here for a REASON after all-Virgil seemed amused by the attention + extra final chances to roast poor Deceit, so he never mentioned it-Now, all of this? It was leading up to something... a plan.-Because Deceit and Roman had seen a lot of Virgil, had gotten used to his snark and his sarcastic tone and his smirks and frowns and deadpan expressions, had gotten used to his sense of humor and interests, had gotten used to him-And as that deadline approached for their time with him to be cut short, the both of them were realizing very quickly they didn’t want to lose him-So they had a plan-They came in for their final movie on Virgil’s final day-You could tell it was his last day- he wasn’t in uniform, he looked more carefree than ever, and when they ordered he didn’t even ring them up; just handed over the drinks and grub, free of charge-‘what’re they gonna do, fire me?’ Virgil had asked with a grin when Roman looked at him in shock-‘happy to be almost gone, I can tell’ Roman commented idly-‘there’s only so much fake butter a man can smell before he goes mad’ Virgil joked back. ‘besides, it’s even better knowing I’ll never have to see your boyfriend’s ugly mug ever again’-‘yeah well have you- uh’ Roman stopped, looked at Deceit, looked back at an unimpressed Virgil, continued, ‘y’know, boyfriend- your- I mean-’ another pause, dramatic hand motion, slamming his hands into the counter, ‘our!’-Virgil didn’t respond aside from looking at Deceit in confusion-‘mind my boyfriend... for such a romantic he’s not great at pick-up lines...’ Deceit said, only making Virgil look more confused until he added, ‘though he could be our boyfriend’-Virgil blinked at him. once. twice. looked at Roman. blinked again.-‘what?’ he asked, finally, sounding torn between extremely bewildered and almost hopeful-‘we’re trying to ask you out.’ Deceit clarified. ‘as you can tell, we’re amazing at it.’-‘...you’re gonna have to say that again, because it’s still not making sense-’-‘we want to DATE you, emo daydream!’ Roman finally said, cheeks immediately blushing a dark red even as he stared Virgil right in the eyes-Virgil froze up at that, both the confusion and hope in his expression increasing. ‘I- wha- why?’-‘because you’re pretty, and cute, and funny albeit snarky, and because of that me and Roman can to the shared conclusion that we don’t want all of that to walk out of our life just because you got a new job’-Virgil didn’t respond to that for a minute, instead just looking down at the counter, clearly lost in thought-finally he says, slowly, awkwardly, ‘...that might be... nice. you guys are... also nice’-‘I’m pretty sure that means ‘I love you’ in awkward introvert language’-Deceit lightly elbowed Roman, though considering Roman was leaning against Deceit’s side + holding his arm as he stared stupidly adoringly at Virgil, it wasn’t very effective. ‘you’re going to scare him off’-‘no, no, I don’t mean it scathingly. I think it’s... cute.’-Virgil who up until now had been doing pretty well at being more shocked than flustered, was beginning to lose that battle. ‘shut up, princey’-Roman puckered his lips. ‘make me?’-Deceit gently shoved Roman away from the counter. ‘I’d apologize for his antics, but you’re well-versed in them’-‘that I am’-Deceit smiled and handed Virgil a card with both his and Roman’s numbers on it. ‘call us so we can set up a date, yeah?’-‘uh... yeah’ Virgil said, cheeks flushing a shade darker just at the thought of a date.-Deceit nodded, still smiling as he collected the food (passing drinks to Roman), the two of them heading off-‘wait!’-Roman and Deceit turned back towards Virgil-Virgil didn’t say anything at first, the ‘wait’ clearly having been spur of the moment. finally, he lifted the card, almost pointlessly, and said lamely, ‘enjoy your movie’-Roman and Deceit smiled back at him. ‘we will’ they promised, before heading to their film-They didn’t uphold that promise, considering they didn’t pay any attention to the movie at all-But given they were instead more occupied with thinking (and talking) about their new boyfriend, they were fairly certain Virgil would forgive them
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doof-doofblog · 4 years ago
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"I'm Your Father, Love!"
Tuesday 18th May 2021
Hello again everyone! Hope you're all doing okay, I'm back with another post and tonight I'll be reviewing Tuesday's post episode. However before we get started I have a little bit of news to share, which I'm sure the majority of you might've heard by now. Adam Woodyatt has announced that he's not going to be returning to Albert Square until at least 2022! So of course, for me, that raises the question - What has Ian been doing all of this time? Where did he go when he wondered off into the night? I know that there's going to be some major questions to be asked. We all last saw Ian leave the Square after he realised that his new wife, Sharon was poisoning him after she found out about his involvement in her son, Dennis's death. I hope Ian's return will be a big one, considering the way he left - with no money, no phone - just the clothes on his back, I'm eager to see where he has been and what he's been doing. What do you guys think?
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Anyway, focusing on the episode at hand, firstly I'm going to begin with Katy and Frankie. Considering that Monday's episode ended with Katy returning to the Square, it wasn't going to be long until she crossed someone's path. Unfortunately for Frankie, it turns out her Mum has come back to the Square to see her. As Frankie is sat quietly in the club, she's startled as she looks up to see her Mum standing over her. Katy tries to plead with her to have one last drink with her before she gets locked up, but Frankie is having none of it. Although when she escapes from her Mum arrives back at the Vic, she realises that Mick's victim statement is all placed in an envelope and ready to be read out loud in court. 
To me it seems that Frankie was struggling whether to go and see her Mum or not, because at the end of the day, she is her Mum. Eventually Frankie agrees to meet with her Mum in the park, without anyone else around. At first it looks as if they're bonding as Katy recalls about the time she took her daughter to the beach around Christmas time. It looks as if Katy is still holding onto the hope that she can be seen as a good person in her daughter's eyes. Eventually it becomes perfectly clear what Katy is wanting from her daughter, she questions whether Frankie will give her a character reference so the court can see what kind of person she can be. But Frankie realises that once again she's being used by her Mum, she walks away completely ignoring her Mother. I do feel for Frankie as she is kind of in the middle of all of this, but she needs to realise that she has no blame in any of it, all the blame leads directly to Katy. 
Returning to the Vic, Frankie confides in Shirley, informing her of her Mother's request but she makes it known that she completely refused, much to Shirley's delight. Shirley claims she's proud of Frankie for doing the right thing and how she always knew she was on their side. I think as much as Frankie is wanting to stand by her Dad and help him through this ordeal, I guess a part of her is also thinking that she's also losing her Mum in all of this. I think I do feel for Frankie right now, but I am really intrigued to see the court scenes when they air. Will Mick be able to read his statement in court with Katy sat right there in the room?!
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Elsewhere on the Square, Sharon is prepping herself for the launch of her new gym, however she's getting very little help from Zack. As she voices her ideas to him, he's insulting every single suggestion. He informs her that she needs to think bigger and advertise on social media and consider that people are going to be wanting to join the gym, so she should have some fresh smoothies made etc etc. 
As Zack tries to, once again, show off, Martin and Ruby happen to be walking with Lily across the Square. Is it me, or does this Zack think that he's God's gift to women? Showing off and flirting with anything that moves, but it seems his eyes are focused on Ruby at the moment - and Martin is really noticing which is making him incredibly jealous and possibly even cautious. Only did you guys happen to see the look on Lily's face? Do you think she has sussed out that her Dad may be jealous of Zack? 
Later as Zack is trying out a new cocktail, I'm not 100% sure whether it was something new for the club or something he was working on for the gym launch, but regardless he gets Ruby to be his guinea pig. However, lurking in the corner, sitting and watching everything unfold in front of her, is Lily. Ruby happens to notice her step-daughter and questions why she's not in school. Lily makes up an excuse and instantly asks her step-mum whether she has a crush on Zack, which of course Ruby firmly denies and informs her not to get involved in "Adult Business!" 
However, it looks as if the cogs are turning in Lily's mind. I'm assuming she still really doesn't look Ruby and will do anything to make her life a misery, maybe even split her and her Dad up. As she returns him and is sat watching TV with her Dad, Martin asks about what she's been doing whilst he's been away. It's then that Lily spins a web of lies, telling her Dad that Ruby wasn't around much and she was hanging around with Zack a lot, even mentioning that Zack had stayed over. Knowing full well how this would make her Dad feel, I think it's simply to do with Lily getting back at Ruby, purely for her Mum's sake. Is there anything Lily won't do to ruin Martin and Ruby's marriage?!
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Another thing I have to mention is Bernie! Now Bailey has returned home, the Taylor family are slowly getting back to normal and having the family together again. Even though the family are terrified to let Bailey out of their sight. Bailey overhears Karen shouting for her in a blind panic, but once Karen realises that she's still safe and sound in the apartment, Bailey realises how worried her family were about it, claiming that she's seen all the online posts about her online. Does Bailey now feel guilty for running out on her family? Did she really believe that her family would be better off without her? The poor kid! 
But it seems that Karen isn't the only one who's concerned about Bailey's whereabouts, it looks as if Keegan is eager to keep a close eye on her also. He mentions to Tiffany that he and Bernie will be taking Bailey out for some lunch. Later as they all gather at McKlunky's, Keegan asks his sister about this "bonus" she'll be getting from Kheerat. But Bernie reassures her brother that he doesn't have to match her money, and he doesn't have to pay her back either. As a sweet and joking gesture, she informs him that as soon he has made his first million, that he can pay her back! 
However, the previous episode, Rainie informed Bernadette that she and Stuart are going to be finding another surrogate, so if Bernie is eager to make some quick cash for her family then she needs to act fast! Desperately she approaches Rainie begging her to give her a chance, to the point where she pushes herself to inform Rainie that she can lose the weight within a month! Rainie realises that Bernie is deeply serious about her surrogate and agrees to give her the one month deadline for her to lose weight so she can be their surrogate and carry a baby safely. 
Now I fear that this is where Bernie's eating disorder is going to come in, I know what it's like to lose weight, it can be a long and hard process - weight does not simply drop off you within a month! I fear that Bernie may make some drastic and hard decisions when it comes to her eating now. Will she perhaps start making herself sick? Or will she not eat at all and eventually go light headed and pass out? There could so many different and dark roads this storyline will take, I just hope there will be no lasting damage to both Bernadette, and the soon to be baby she'll be carrying - if it ever gets to that point! What do you guys think of this current storyline? I'm really interested in hearing your thoughts on this one! 
--
The final thing I have to mention is Sonia! Oh poor Sonia! After overhearing Dotty and Tiffany taking the mick out of her and calling her horrendous names, it looks as if Sonia is feeling as if she's aged since leaving the Square. Almost to the point where she feels it's time for her to change her look, she approaches Denise in the salon and asks her to give her a new do - from what we gather, something along the lines of what Dua Lipa has! 
Now Denise questions Sonia's decision and can see that maybe Sonia is having some kind of breakdown. She swiftly talks her into having a drink with her at the Vic. I have to say though, this scene between Sonia and Denise I absolutely loved. We don't get to see these two women socialise enough, it was just so lovely to see Denise reassure Sonia that she's not as "Boring" as some people think she is! She is a very important part of the community and mentions rightly how much Sonia has had to cope with over the last year, being a nurse and regards to the pandemic. It made it feel quite realistic for me, everyone knows how much we have needed the NHS this last year or so and how hard every single NHS employee has worked to keep us all safe! Even though the pandemic is real and Sonia is a fictional character, it was just nice for someone to reassure her that she is important and she is deeply loved within the community. I also have to say how much I love Denise also - I don't think Diane Parish gets the recognition she deserves! 
However as the drinks begin to flow, Denise and Sonia begin talking about Dotty. Denise informs her that she shouldn't listen to anything Dotty has to say, but unfortunately lets slip that Dotty has been performing as a hostess at the club. Learning this news, Sonia storms right over to the club and instructs Dotty to stop doing what she's doing, flaunting herself over middle aged men for money! However, she happens to insult a man standing by the bar, calling him a pervert! Dotty is left absolutely humiliated, but personally - it felt good to see Dotty be told straight! Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike Dotty, but I think becoming a hostess and dragging Tiffany in to doing it also, just doesn't seem right. I don't think she's no where near as bad as her Father, but I think she'll always have a rebel side to her! 
Oh so finally Brian Connelly has made his first appearance on the Square as Terry Cant. His first encounter was accidently bumping into Rainie. But as he continued to wonder Walford, he found himself in Ruby's club, working up an audience telling them a really interesting story, from what I could make out! However, he happened to be the one who was caught up in Sonia's confrontation with Dotty, being the one called a pervert. 
As Sonia returned back to the Square and began chatting once again with Denise and Tiffany, she was horrified to see that the "Pervert Man" had followed her back to the Vic. As she makes herself scarce by hiding underneath the table, Terry begins to ask for Sonia Fowler. But as Denise questions what he wants her for and whether she's done anything wrong, Terry informs them that she in fact hasn't done anything wrong, but called her Dad a pervert! Yep, that's right! Terry Cant is Sonia's Dad!!!! Where has he been all this time? How will Sonia react to her Father rolling up on the Square?
I know that Thursday's episode has already aired, but I'm looking forward to reviewing that episode tomorrow! Do you hope that Terry will become a permanent member of the cast? What else will bring him to Walford other than reconnecting with his daughter? I have to be honest, I'm looking forward to seeing what Brian Connelly will bring to the Square. I know he's well known for his comedy, but I'll be interested to see if they bring a more serious and maybe dark side to his character. I just think it'll give Brian Connelly that chance to shine and prove he can be a brilliant actor as well as a brilliant comedian! What do you guys think?? 
Thank you all for reading, it truly means the world! Please feel free to leave me a comment or leave me a message regarding anything currently happening in EastEnders right now. I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts, opinions and theories! Love you all xXx
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nine-mp3 · 4 years ago
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Your Neighbor Sungho | Ch. 1
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Photo Credits:
- left hand corner, @116page
- center, @newat_rie
Rie (sungho) x (female) reader, fluff, slice of life, semi-angsty (?)
appearances of other OnlyOneOf and Dreamcatcher members will occur
hey so I rolled a wheel on who to write a fanfic first and got rie plus picked out a prompt to write from
warnings: alcohol, getting drunk; in this fic is PG-13, some light cursing occasionally, super tiny mention of smut in description beginning and that’s all;
btw i’m pretty sarcastic, there’s sarcasm thrown here and there, hope you enjoy :D
This is my first time sharing my writing on a public platform. As a writer, I always appreciate constructive criticism. Feel free to leave feedback in the comments if you have anything to say. Thank you in advance for reading as well
Also, please DO NOT repost my work anywhere without my permission or plagiarize.
Description: your neighbor, sungho, from the day you've moved in has kept you up countless nights with their significant other. dancing, muffled long conversations, and amongst other noises you wished you could wipe from memory. one day it suddenly stops. those days become months.
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Your neighbor, Sungho, from the day you've moved in has kept you up countless nights with their significant other. Dancing, muffled long conversations, and amongst other noises you wished you could wipe from memory. One day it suddenly stops. These days become months. Now, you couldn't help but to be concerned.
Sungho isn't a bad neighbor. You recall complaining to him at some point, amidst trying to focus on a report you had to write up for work, and he apologized for the noise. Many times. He seemed embarrassed, never realizing how thin the walls were in the apartment building, and promised to keep the noise levels down. These promises would last only about a week. Their significant other was quite the complete opposite of Sungho, a loud individual. From what you were aware, the two didn't live together. His significant other would come over daily to stay or visit.
As much as they were loud, they didn't seem to like you either. Looks of disdain thrown whenever you happen to cross them in the hallway, being in the same elevator cart, or when Sungho was trying to be a good neighbor by greeting you. They would pull him away immediately, putting his attention back on them. Sometimes you thought that they were being loud on purpose, knowing that you were next door, and very well aware of the complaints. The reason why? You had no idea. The best guess you could come up with was that they saw you as a threat to their relationship. Which was ridiculous. You hardly knew the male nor could the both of you call each other friends.
Sometimes Sungho left fruits or drinks at your door with little notes of apologies for their rowdiness. And for their significant other's behavior. For the most part, you bared through it or simply did all your work within the hours at your office now and prayed that tiredness would consume you once you hit your bed, blocking out any disturbances.
So, life goes on.
One weekend, you just happened to get home from going out with your friends. It was late, past midnight. You heard arguing through the walls between Sungho and their significant other.
"You're always like this, Sungho!"
Immediately, you felt very uncomfortable entering your apartment. It wasn't something you wanted to hear or should be hearing. Not that you could help it either since you lived next door. You backed yourself outside, considering going to the balcony on the floor for a bit. Stepping back outside of your door, their argument becomes muffled.
Why couldn't the landlord just keep the damn wall consistency the same?
Suddenly, Sungho's door flies open followed by their significant other storming out. You jump up out of surprise, the noise scaring you. They're heading down the hallway, to the elevators, without looking back. Sungho appears at his door not too long after, holding it open.
"Wait-" he calls out to them, his voice faltering.
The male notices you then, staring with wide eyes at him. At that moment, you were able to get a full picture of his current position. The hurt in his eyes.
"Oh...y/n. Are you here to complain about the noise again? I'm really sorry-"
"Uh, no! No, not at all. See, I just was returning home now. Don't worry about it," you said, awkwardly blinking a few times, reaching to grab for your keys from your bag once again.
"Um, I'm heading inside now! Okay, bye!"
You immediately opened your door again, rushing, running into your living room. The door shuts behind automatically and you let out a sigh of relief. You felt bad for suddenly running away, but you weren't about to ask or give relationship advice if Sungho wasn't asking for it. Besides, what if it was only a lover's quarrel?
They'll probably make up soon. Talk about a rough night…
Then the realization set in. The apartment would be definitely quiet for at least another day. A smile rises to your face.
What a horrible thing to be happy over...after seeing your neighbor fight with their significant other. Then again, they weren't all that nice to me.
You shrugged, waving the events aside, calling it a night, enjoying the peaceful silence...only with the slight remaining, lingering tension in the air. After you showered, brushed your teeth, and changed into pajamas, you immediately laid down on your bed. Pulling the covers over, you found yourself thinking. Staring up to the ceiling of your room in the dark.
That argument sounded bad though...ugh. None of your business, y/n. Go to sleep. They'll probably be fine tomorrow…
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Define the term "fine".
The next day, as you predicted, was quiet. That you could hear a pin drop from down the hallway. You enjoyed it, a Sunday afternoon peace. It allowed you to catch up on work, eat, watch T.V, write poetry...overall without any disturbances. Sungho, your neighbor, was long forgotten from your mind.
The thing is, it goes on for the next week. You weren't worried about it at all because you were swamped with work. The next reports and presentations came with close deadlines. The silence was appreciated, allowing you to focus; you got lost in piles of work and many cups of coffee.
Worry about your neighbor only returned on the brief encounters when the both of you were heading to work in the mornings. Sungho still greeted you, but only with a brief nod and face expressionless. They would walk ahead first, not bothering to see even if you returned the greeting or not. Sometimes you heard him leaving earlier than you and now you couldn't help but to wonder what his occupation was.
The week turns into two and three. He stops greeting you at some point, or maybe he wasn't very aware of his surroundings; his whole aura was different. Sungho usually would at least do his hair before going out and dress somewhat decently. Now it was always a mess, his bangs left down to cover his eyes, matching with black attire. You saw him up close in his current condition when you were returning to the apartment building one afternoon. The male had collided into you, by accident. Turning around immediately on the impact, once you had regained your balance, you're faced with eyes that were written with sleepless nights, dark circles prominent. At least, this time, he mumbles an apology before moving on.
By the time it reaches the end of the month, your workload becomes lighter for the year, you find more time thinking about the current situation of your neighbor. You called up one of your best friends at your workplace one night. It wasn't the first time you discussed your neighbor with them.
"Yoojung, it's the end of the month. I haven't seen his significant other in awhile. As much as I enjoy the silence, I hate seeing Sungho this dead," you said, a hand gripping onto the balcony railing out of nervousness.
“Note check. You don’t even know the guy. Why exactly are you so worried?” Yoojung on the other end replies.
Your friend had a point. Why were you worried?
“Well…I don’t have an answer, actually. I don’t know why I’m worried. Can’t I just be a good neighbor?” you replied.
“It’s none of your business, y/n. Looking at reality. But if you’re so worried, go knock on his door and talk to him. Even if it’s just a hello. Didn’t he leave you fruits before? You can do that in return if you’re so curious,” Yoojung suggested, not sounding all that interested.
“Anyways, you’re coming to the group outing for dinner next week right? On Saturday? Please tell me you didn’t forget or you plan on cancelling. We hardly ever get a chance for everyone to come together again.”
“Alright, thanks so much for the advice...I guess...and keep your pants on, Yoojung. Of course I’m coming. Good night,” you scowled at him.
You hung up the phone then, not giving a chance for the other to say his goodbye. As much as he was your best friend, he could be a pain in the ass. Turning around, you exited out the balcony to return back to your apartment for the day.
So much for calling it a night.
Once you make it back, you’re greeted with Sungho at your door, hunched over, using an arm to keep his weight up against the wall. First thought that came to mind: he’s unwell and he came to ask you for help? You immediately approach the male, only to be hit by a smell of alcohol and you jolt back. The second thought you had, only confirmed: he’s drunk.
“Sungho?! Are you okay?” you asked nervously, tapping his shoulder lightly.
The male looks up to you, quite confused.
“y/n? Oh. Yeah...I’m fine. Just trying to get into my apartment...but the key.... doesn’t seem to fit…” Sungho said, words spoken slowly as he tries to stand upright.
“Did...the landlord change the locks?”
“No, no. The landlord didn’t. You’re at the wrong apartment, this one is mine. Uh, do you need help?” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.
“Ah...well, that makes...sense now,” Sungho said, a drunk written smile appearing on his face.
“No, it’s okay...I’m always disturbing you... I’m really sorry...Have...a good night, y/n.”
It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in such a long time. Of course, it only happens to be when he’s not sober. Also, you’re very aware that drunk people do need help but always deny it. You watch as he turns around, folding your arms and counting down in your head.
3... 2...1
The male collapses on the ground, completely knocked out from the alcohol in his system. You blew up at your hair, huffing then, staring down at his figure on the ground.
This night just got a whole lot longer.
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tangerineflowers · 6 years ago
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Calculator Girl
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authors note: im a dumb bitch excuse my shite skillz, theres a dom bri and a sub bri in this first is dom second is sub if you have a preference:)
summary: you meet in physics and brian always lets you borrow his calculator, eventually roger tires of brian always talking about 'this cute girl in his physics class' so he invited her to a gig. bri takes you home and things get alil hot and heavy.
content: fluff, flirting, making out, infatuation, jealousy,
you met at uni, you sat next to eachother in physics and you never brought a calculator so you always borrowed his. this led to light conversation and eventually when your birthday rolled around and you came to class he bought you a calculator then 10 minutes after giving it to you he hurriedly attempted to explain that he actually liked sharing his calculator with you and that you could still use it and he hoped the gift didnt come off as rude.
"y/n oh god i just realized-i wasnt trying to- you can still use my calculator- i like sharing with you i did-" you cut him off by putting your hand on his shoulder and reassuring him that it was a cute gift and you liked it. class ended and when you said your final thank you to him you gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek that the band would never hear the end of. when roger finally got tired of hearing brian gush about you he decided to hunt you down one day finding you through your roommate he invited you to a local cafe to study with brian, but when you arrived you saw the both not only had brian but a shorter blonde man adjusting his necklaces and giving him a pep talk.
"alright bri, be yourself except be confident you got this c'mon!" he glanced up and noticed you walk in quickly pulling away from brian and giving him a not so subtle wink.
you approached the table giggling at what you walked in on and taking a seat next to brian giving a shy introduction to roger and a hello to brian,
"hi brian-" roger quickly cut you off saying,
"i'm roger" he extended his hand towards you and you shook it gently before roger shoved himself right between you and brian, he made an effort to be quite flirtatious toward you to make brian jealous but you playfully shut down his efforts taking notice to brians tensed jaw and white knuckles around his pencil and calculator. you looked past roger at brian and tapped him on the shoulder asking to borrow his calculator for a moment making sure your fingers brushed as he handed it to you.
"brian could i borrow your calculator?" you said softly before delving into another math problem. as you did this brian whisper yelled at roger that he didnt like him flirting with you but roger cut him off tapping you on the shoulder and inviting you to a show that night.
"y/n how would you like to come see our band perform tonight?" you looked over at brian raising an eyebrow
"i did know you were in a band brian?" brian got flustered and answered meekly,
"yeah i am its just a weekend thing with a couple of friends, freddie, deaky, rog here, i play guitar." as he said this you took notice of his hands maybe staring a bit too long. you looked at his watch for a moment before noticing the time. you had to get to class and gave them both kisses on the cheek as a goodbye brians lingered there for a moment longer before you rushed out of the cafe getting to class.
---
you put on your favorite outfit as you got ready for the concert and made a bigger effort with your hair and make up, you never really tried that much to look attractive in class so you decided to play it up for tonight. you and your roommate pushed your way to the front waiting for his band to come on stage and you took notice of the raucous crowd excited for the performance but most excited to see brian. when the band entered you scanned the whole band before settling on brian. a magically flamboyant frontman with the voice of a god. a bouncy flouncy cheeky bass player with great hair, roger the blond hair blue eyed flirt from earlier and brian. his curly hair was like a halo around his angular face you noticed his eyeliner settling for staring at his pillowy lips for a moment. you loved his outfit a white shirt with bat wing arms cradling his red guitar. though you would never say it outloud you stared at his pants for way longer than you should have. by the time you finished scanning him the first song started. you made eye contact with brian flashing him a smile. he smiled back, the girls surrounding you all melted. you laughed slightly and watched his fingers on the fretboard glancing from his fingers to his face as he sang back up vocals as he played. you watched him throughout the whole show and roger noticed. the moment it ended he rushed over to brian telling him that you were totally checking him out.
"bri! I swear!" roger raved.
"I sincerely doubt it rog." brian was completely unaware of the feelings you both shared for eachother.
"if you don't go out there and buy her a drink then.." he paused and his face fell into a mischievous grin.
"i will. you've got 10 minutes!" he smirked and thumped brian in the chest before galavanting off leaving brian with his thoughts and a deadline. the adrenaline in his veins from a stellar performance pushed him to pack up his red special and rush out to the bar to find you.
you and your roommate make your way over to the bar but before you can order a drink brian approaches you and your roommate disappears talking to another friend. brian smiles at you tapping you on the shoulder and you quickly swivel around smiling and giving him a congratulatory hug and a kiss on the cheek. his face flushed pink as you did so and he hugged you back hands resting on your lower back. you pulled away and began rambling about how amazing he was.
"you are so talented i almost cant believe it!" you laughed excitedly on an adrenaline high from the loud music.
"i- thank you y/n. i really appreciate it." he smiles down at you his head pounding from the loudness of the bar he leaned down by your ear to ask,
"would you like to go somewhere quieter?" you nodded quickly and he helped you off the bar stool leading you through the bar with his hand ghosting over your lower back sending shivers up your spine. when you get outside you're immediately hit the by the cool autumn air sprinkling goosebumps all over your arms. brian noticed and looked around trying to find another place to talk that would be warmer.
"we should uh... its really cold do you wanna go.. to my place?" brian suggested meekly. you flashed him a bright smile.
"id love too." you said and took his hand walking home with him, during the walk you both discussed the show and your other interests. you quickly arrived back at his appartment and you both rushed inside. you walked over and nervously sat down on his couch.
"i'll make us tea to warm up." brian suggested making a beeline for the kitchen and quickly brewing up some tea. you nodded and waited for him to come back. he returned and sat down on the couch next to you putting his arm on the couch behind you. you continued talking about various things getting closer and closer to eachother you rested you hand on his knee and played with his hair for a moment until your face was inches away from his and you made eye contact both glancing at eachothers lips he leaned in and kissed you. you brought your hands to his shoulders and he brought his to your cheeks. thats what solidified it for you. this wasnt just a hook up to either of you. his thumbs grazed down your cheeks and he touched your neck putting his hands in your hair. you deepened the kiss opening your mouth and things began to get hot and heavy.
brian leans you back into the squishy couch hovering over you by leaning on his hand by your waist almost trapping you under him. you didnt mind though, this was exactly where you wanted to be ever since you'd seen him on that stage. your arms wrapped around his neck and his knees were between your legs as he began kissing down to your neck his hand snaking under your back holding you as he kissed all over your chest and neck. you tilt your head back letting out soft whimpers as he kissed your sweet spots. what made your breathing stop momentarily though was when you felt his teeth grazing over your collarbone and he began to leave a few dark hickeys up the side of your neck making you moan and squeeze your legs together. he brought his lips back to yours kissing you less sloppily and being more deliberate with every move he made on you. you ran your hands into his dark chocolate curlys kissing him slowly. what you both hadn't noticed during this steamy make out session was that the boys had come home. the door opened and brian looked up at the band like a deer in headlights quickly sitting up as freddie and deaky burst out laughing.
"the one time bri has a girl we call it an early night" he laughs walking across the room and sitting on a couch adjacent to you two.
"seems like we're interrupting something fred." he giggled mischievously before freddie got a better look at you and gasped dramatically.
"its the calculator girl from his class! aw!" freddie gushed and rubbed brians shoulder, brian was mortified during all of this staring at you apologetically as you felt the same until you heard freddie refer to you as calculator girly you sat up from under brian blushing.
"you talked about me?" you giggled looking at brian for an answer before deaky chimed in with,
"it was never ending." he laughed and freddie stood up laughing excitedly he walked towards the kitchen saying,
"well i'll leave you love birds or snog bogs to it!" he joked and deaky left the room as well. brian's face was bright red embaressed and he looked at you worriedly.
"you talked about me?" you asked leaning towards him excitedly and wrapped your arms around his neck as he snapped out of his trance of embaressment.
"yeah.." he said nervously as he tried to figure out where he should put his hands. you looked down moving his hands to your waist you move him so he's sitting on the couch correctly you straddle him and kiss him sweetly.
"i talked about you to roommates too!" you said before gently kissing him again bringing your kisses down this side of his neck and leaving him a couple hickeys his jaw dropping and head tipping back as roger slowly entered the apartment with a random girl on his arm. brian heard the door and shot back up letting out an annoyed groan as rog gave him a silent thumbs up as he rushed to his room. you noticed the interaction and laughed softly.
"we just cannot get alone can we?" you tucked his hair behind his ear and whispered sweetly.
"let's go to my room.." he said picking you up from your current position straddling his lap and walking past the kitchen bringing you to his room he layed you on the bed noticing both of your eye lids begin to get heavier. you looked at him alittle worried before asking.
"could we.. insead of..-" brian caught your drift and nodding letting out a yawn as he pulled his show shirt off.
"could i borrow a t shirt?" you asked taking your shoes off and setting your earings on the dresser. he nodded pointing to the open drawer as he slipped a shirt on. you took your shirt off and slipped on of his on and unbuttoning your jeans you slid those off as well. once you were down to just panties and one of his shirts you sat on the edge of his bed. brian climbed in his bed and glanced at you.
"care to join?" he joked opening his arms you quickly climbed under his sheets and into his arms laying your head on his chest and resting your hand on his side tracing patterns. he snaked an arm to your him and took a deep breath as you both fell asleep.
SEND IN REQUESTS! should turn this into a series?
i write for brian, roger, deaky, and freddie {only platonically}
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alexafaie-asd · 3 years ago
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I've not yet been able to access a diagnosis, but am pretty sure that I have ADHD in addition to autism since I do meet the criteria.
For me, as a kid the things I struggled with were stuff like homework (couldn't focus on doing it, just couldn't start it) and tidying my room (was always told to "tidy" but not how to tidy nor how to break down tasks into smaller ones). And I struggled with RSD and trauma from the punishments (verbal and physical) I got from the above difficulties. Also struggled with time (noticing it passing) and remembering schedules like the school timetable.
I was an early & voracious reader, and naturally intelligent/a quick learner of class material (just a sponge for stuff that interested me, not for anything that didn’t though) and in an exam could always do very well (could not work out how to revise though) so they ignored my not doing homework for the most part in secondary school, partly because I was easy to teach, partly because I think they laid the blame at an unsettled home life (parents got divorced thankfully, but still got a lot of abuse over the phone from my dad) so unlike other kids I never got detention for not doing it. Either way the actual cause got totally missed and the assumption was it was a "not putting effort in" thing right up until my A Levels when my history teacher started realising it was way more than that (but too late at that point to do much but salvage where I was).
So it sucked, but there was still some external structure to things to keep me somehow bumbling along. And daydreaming made me feel better. This started to change in early adulthood when I attended university. Their approach was that you had to attend a certain amount of the lectures in a module to pass it, and reach a certain mark to get a pass in the assignments, but if you chose not to turn up (or had difficulty with time management to miss lectures)? Not going to say or do anything about it. Your money, your choice of how you spent it was their view. So there was no external support from the university or the lecturers, no checking you were doing ok, you were expected to come forward with issues (which I'd always been told off for doing so much as a kid so thought you weren't meant to). I had a ton of mental health issues which remained undiagnosed (years later got diagnosed as bipolar disorder). Only reason I passed/scraped by was my partner at the time approached the lecturers and student services on my behalf to get me extensions on deadlines and a resit for an exam I totally blanked in after a PTSD flashback to childhood trauma the morning of the exam (lets just say re-experiencing watching your pregnant mother get punched in the stomach & pushed down the stairs doesn't help your ability to complete an exam).
After finishing university I struggled with finding a job (yay 2008 economic collapse) and retaining what I did find. My partner split up with me & that caused a lot of trauma and when I tried to do a masters degree everything really fell apart and has never really recovered.
Nowadays I still struggle with time (what even is it other than made up?) and I struggle with task switching and ordering, and keeping anything remotely like a routine. I'm unable to work (due to how my disabilities combine) and can barely manage self care tasks without external prompting. I also need help breaking down tasks and managing to do housework stuff. My current partner is also my unpaid carer and they help me as best they can. I've been self medicating with caffeine tablets (don't consume food/drink with caffeine) and my sensitivity to meds seems to be helping in that regard at least as it has helped quite a bit. The difference between a day I take them and a day I forget is huge, even though the stuff I manage to do is still not a level which is really useful for maintaining an environment I can do ok in.
I very much feel like I have a harder time as an adult because the things it affects are very much things expected of you as an adult (or which you kinda have to do like eat, drink, & use the bathroom). When I've tried to hold down jobs I had such bad issues with time management that I'd frequently be late. Whilst I'd stay late or skip lunch break to make up for it (couldn't afford the food for lunch at the time so what was the break even for?) that wasn't enough to make up for not being able to be consistent. I do joke that the one thing that is consistent about me is my inconsistency.
I probably would do a lot better if I could take the medication, though I'm doubtful they'd want to prescribe with my diagnosis of bipolar disorder (they don't count being stable on CBD oil bought by myself as being stable on medication, so will likely want me back on the meds which made me terribly ill and had a fun effect of reducing dopamine, which I'm sure you can guess does NOT help if you already don't get enough because ADHD brains don't produce it properly).
Oh and my partner has called up saying that I really need to come down for dinner as its going cold and they've called me a few times already (I can task switch so well oh yes). So guess I need to stop this mega long wall of text?
hey I'm sure this can be hard to answer but was adhd harder for you as an adult or as a child
Sent January 19, 2022
It is a hard question to answer. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult, so for sure some stuff was harder because I didn’t know why I was struggling. It’s hard to feel okay about yourself when it seems like everyone else can do things that feel impossible, and you don’t know why!
I still have these expectations of myself, though, and that can be rough. I feel like I should be able to do all these things that my neurotypical friends can do, and it’s a huge struggle. What’s really weird about it is that I’m much better at giving myself grace in the moment—I recognize that I’m having a Bad Brain Day—but later on I’ll feel down on myself—I shouldn’t have struggled and I should have had this all under control already so that having a Bad Brain Day wouldn’t matter anyway.
In a lot of ways, it’s harder for me as an adult, because the things I struggle with are particularly tied to being an adult woman in our society. When I was a child, and even as a teenager, I had difficulty with social stuff and organization, but my home life was really supportive and my parents just naturally parented in an ADHD-friendly way (at least one of them is probably ADHD, and the other has at least one undiagnosed autistic sibling). I was also academically gifted, so schoolwork wasn’t too hard for me.
Followers, do you feel like life as an ADHDer was easier when you were a child, or is it easier now?
-J
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my-tc-confessional · 7 years ago
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@19-2033 hi there!! i'll give it a shot 😁 you'll have to forgive me, though, i'm only a senior in high school so i may not know a lot of grad school terminology haha! thank you!! xx
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So many words were floating around your head that you felt dizzy. This thesis definitely wasn't going to write itself, and you began to beat yourself up over procrastinating to get it finished. The deadline was approaching and you were barely halfway through.
Luckily for you, you had (TC/N) to help you out. You felt comfortable around them and they were always very patient and supportive. You formed some feelings for them, but a part of you knew it wouldn't work out -- they were much older than you and they probably wouldn't be interested in you like that.
As you were typing away one morning, you got an email.
(Y/N), hey! So how's that thesis going?
It was (TC/N)! You smiled and finished typing out your thoughts before emailing them back,
Pretty good! I got a few more pages typed up last night alone. Do you want to read them? I can send them to you!
You both had the day off, so you didn't want to make them go out and meet you. They might have been relaxing. They responded back,
Actually, why don't we meet up? We can grab coffee. My treat.
Suffice to say, the day was off to a great start. You smiled and replied back,
Nonsense, we'll go dutch. You help me out enough. Meet me at the Starbucks on Lexington and 12th at noon?
They responded back quickly,
Let me help you out even more. See you at noon, (Y/N). ;)
The winky face did you in. They had no idea what they put you through...
*
When you entered the Starbucks, you immediately let out a sigh of relief. The weather outside was nasty and cold, and the rain only made it worse. It felt nice inside.
You looked around, but (TC/N) hadn't arrived yet, so you sat down and pulled out your laptop. You made little revisions here and there for about ten minutes, when they finally showed up.
They looked miserable coming in from the rain, but once they walked in and saw you, they had a grin that made your knees weak; thank goodness you were already sitting down! "(Y/N), hey!" They greeted you warmly.
"Hey!" You nodded and waved shyly.
They pointed to the counter, "Hope you didn't order anything yet. I'm paying, remember?" They winked.
You chuckled, trying to hide your blush behind your hands. "No, no! I didn't order. I'd really rather pay for my own, though."
Their smile weakened a bit, but they nodded "Okay, suit yourself." The two of you walked up and made your orders. Much to your dismay, (TC/N) payed anyway. They had their wallet out first. You pouted at them, and they laughed. "Like I said, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to." They placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.
You sighed, but nodded. "Thank you."
You each sat down and started working on more revisions. You had a lot of mistakes -- nothing too terrible, just some minor things -- but you couldn't help but feel yourself shrink deeper into your seat. You did feel comfortable with (TC/N), but it was hard to have them be so critical about something you felt you'd been working so hard on. Not that they were being rude, but they were honest with every mistake they noticed.
Eventually as your responses became more dull and muted, they began to realize something was wrong.
They placed a hand on your arm gently, "Everything okay, hun?"
You nodded, "Yeah, why?"
"You seem quiet."
"I'm just a little frustrated..."
They frowned, inching a little closer to you. "I know it's not easy, (Y/N). But that's why I'm here. I'm here for you..." Suddenly, the barista called your order. (TC/N) shrugged, "And for our drinks, I guess." You laughed, and watched as they smiled and went to get the coffee. They sat back down next to you and handed you your drink, "How about this. We finish up the revisions on what you finished last night, and then we can catch a movie. You need to destress."
You laughed, "Thanks, but I think I'll just head home. I should really keep working on this. Besides, I need a lot more than a movie to destress..." You shook your head, continuing to type away on your laptop.
"Well what can I do to help?"
You looked up at them. They had a genuine look of concern in their eyes. "Nothing really, I'm fine! I just have to-"
"(Y/N), I'm serious. I don't want you pulling your hair out over this thesis... Believe me, you'll get it done in time. I know you will."
You looked up at them and felt a ghost of a smile. "Thanks, (TC/N)." With their little encouragement boost, you felt ready to finish the last of the revisions. Only and hour and a half went by, and you'd realized you only had ten pages left of your thesis (author's note: it says online that a master's thesis can be 40-80 pages???? y'all wild, how is college even real). "This is great!" You mused.
"Yeah, it's coming along really nicely!" They patted you on the shoulder. "I knew you could do it."
"Thanks to you." You shoved their shoulder playfully.
They shook their head, "Nah, you would've gotten this thong done regardless. Your writing is great."
"Meh, it could be better." You shrugged, taking a final sip of your drink. It was almost cold, now.
"Well of course, but that's what writing is all about: making your writing better, expanding your knowledge to help your writing... People can only be great writers if they're just open to learning and accepting criticism. You're a prime example of that, (Y/N). Day in and day out for months you've been working on this piece, and everytime we meet, you're writing gets a little better. Not because of me, but because of what you're able to do with the criticisms I give you." By the end of their tangent, they were smiling. "You make my job worth having, (Y/N). You're just, so open to anything and everything. Always ready to better yourself. I can't get enough of you..." They laughed, leaning their head on their hand as they looked at you.
By now you realized you were probably blushing like an idiot, and everyone knew -- especially (TC/N). "I... don't know what to say," you laughed breathlessly.
"You don't need to say anything." They smiled, "I realize your thesis is almost finished, and it's got me a little worried. Is there a way we can still... I mean, I don't know. I really like talking with you."
"Me too." You nodded, "Even after I finish grad school, I'd love to stay in touch."
(TC/N) grinned. You each got up, packing up all of your notes and throwing away your trash, and left. "I'll see you soon, (Y/N)," They said as they left the Starbucks.
You walked out soon after, "I'll see you!"
The ride back home was rough. The storm had let up a bit, but started to pick up as time went on. You didn't care, though. The day couldn't have been more perfect.
Later that night, they emailed you.
(Y/N),
I meant what I said, you know. You're truly an incredible writer. I can't wait to work with you even past grad school and see where life takes you. Whatever you do, you'll do wonderfully.
Feeling a little bold, you responded back,
Wherever life takes me, as long as you're here beside me, I'll be the best that I can be.
He responded back soon after,
And I'll always be here -- seriously, always. Talk to you soon, my love. x
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